| A "puddle" is the ultimate re-framing of a "bottomless | | | | condition with few facts, so we move effortlessly |
| pit" or a "dark hole" or an "abyss" or an "unfathomable | | | | from their succinct storytelling to strategies for |
| chasm" or "deep yogurt" or an "empty void" or "in | | | | empowerment. Envisioning clients moving through a |
| trouble" or -- well, you get the idea. "Moving through | | | | puddle rather than colluding with them to strengthen |
| puddles" includes the concept of cycles, of life in | | | | the abyss is a gift I offer. My assisting them to see |
| constant change. We move through puddles more | | | | themselves moving through a puddle rather than an |
| easily when we understand that everything is | | | | abyss is another benefit for them. I witness their |
| constantly moving and changing, including us! Feelings | | | | process, lovingly.The Puddle ScenarioSo here is the |
| of joy when moving through puddles come with the | | | | basic puddle scenario, a composite of multiple clients |
| realization of the magnificence of living in an | | | | and client sessions. I call the client "Jim," just so we |
| ever-changing Universe.Bottomless Pit SyndromeFolks | | | | have a character.Jim feels feelings he has felt many |
| often telephone to tell me they feel stuck or in a | | | | times before. Once again, he has gotten himself into an |
| bottomless pit of something or other. I accept their | | | | untenable position with his boss. Last year, with his |
| perceptions and accompanying feelings as honest | | | | previous boss, a similar situation occurred. And, yes, he |
| representations. And, I know that one of the reasons | | | | has experienced somewhat similar dynamics with |
| clients call me is so that I can see what they do not | | | | co-workers and family and friends.He is angry. He is |
| readily see and, in turn, assure them that something | | | | angry at himself and his boss. He sees two ways to |
| more hopeful than hopelessness is really happening for | | | | respond: (1) quit and feel like a quitter or (2) stay and |
| them or is possible.So, as I hear their stories, I survey | | | | feel like a loser. To choose whether it feels better to |
| their energy field to see how their perceptions are | | | | be a loser than a quitter is not very empowering. Of |
| represented, catch the vision of their true desires, and | | | | course, you and I can see immediately, even with little |
| envision them as already empowered. I also suggest | | | | data, that Jim has many more options than these two. |
| that they speak their story briefly because I want to | | | | However, Jim sees himself as a victim of |
| help to move them to where they want to be rather | | | | circumstances, even though he is not typically a victim. |
| than keeping them in their current circumstances | | | | Jim sees himself from inside a bottomless pit with two |
| where they do not want to be. I honor their | | | | options, not in a puddle with many options.When you |
| experiences without buying into their beliefs in | | | | understand the idea of puddles, you view life as a |
| insufficiency. If I collude with them in their limiting beliefs, I | | | | series of experiences. Or a series of puddles. You |
| do not serve them. I am of no value to them if I join | | | | know that the puddle is simply one experience that will |
| them in their bottomless pit or dark hole.Sometimes | | | | be followed by others. This does not necessarily mean |
| clients argue for their limitations -- trying to convince | | | | that you wait for the sun to evaporate the puddle, but |
| me how bad it is. My tolerance for interacting in such | | | | that is one option. Enjoying making mud pies is another. |
| conversations is low. I listen deeply, compassionately, | | | | Putting on your boots is another. Splashing gleefully in |
| and quickly -- needing minimal details to be helpful -- | | | | the water is another. Dancing in the puddle to the tune |
| then I suggest or facilitate empowering strategies. | | | | of "Singin' in the Rain" is still another. And there are |
| Sympathy is not one of my skills; compassion is, | | | | many more options. See, already this is more fun than |
| however. I am patient, yet my gentle impatience is | | | | weighing the pros and cons of being a quitter or a |
| usually more often a gift to my clients.Most of my | | | | loser. |
| regular clients know that I hear and understand their | | | | |